Today was my first day of classes for the winter semester, and I spent a lot of the day waiting in line-ups.
My CSD (Centre for Students with Disabilities - like depression) adviser told me last semester that I would be much better off taking just three classes this time around, since four had been too many for me then, but I’m still enrolled in four for the moment. I was hoping that one of today’s classes would stand out to me as the one to drop, but after the first classes I really want to take both. Unfortunately, I know she is right.
I know she’s right because I’ve been spending much too much of my already hormonally-depleted energy reserves on negative thinking. The littlest things have made me miserable today, like seeing the horrible white lines on my boots where they got wet, or watching some of the girls in the athletics centre who are so much more attractive than I am. I suppose I’ll always be able to find a person who’s better at something than me. Must break negative thought patterns!
In addition to being the first day of classes and an otherwise generally miserable day, today was also my 21st birthday. Other than a phone call and a few happy birthdays over Facebook, though, it was pretty low-key. Mom bought me makeup, but she gave it to me a week ago because I’d wanted to spend time with her in the store learning how to use it. There’s something positive: it always makes me feel wonderful how accepting she is of me. Everyone should have a Mom like mine.
I put a smiley on my calendar anyway, though, because the lady in the athletics centre who registered me for my dance class thought her computer was messing up when she loaded up my file and it said 'male'.
My CSD (Centre for Students with Disabilities - like depression) adviser told me last semester that I would be much better off taking just three classes this time around, since four had been too many for me then, but I’m still enrolled in four for the moment. I was hoping that one of today’s classes would stand out to me as the one to drop, but after the first classes I really want to take both. Unfortunately, I know she is right.
I know she’s right because I’ve been spending much too much of my already hormonally-depleted energy reserves on negative thinking. The littlest things have made me miserable today, like seeing the horrible white lines on my boots where they got wet, or watching some of the girls in the athletics centre who are so much more attractive than I am. I suppose I’ll always be able to find a person who’s better at something than me. Must break negative thought patterns!
In addition to being the first day of classes and an otherwise generally miserable day, today was also my 21st birthday. Other than a phone call and a few happy birthdays over Facebook, though, it was pretty low-key. Mom bought me makeup, but she gave it to me a week ago because I’d wanted to spend time with her in the store learning how to use it. There’s something positive: it always makes me feel wonderful how accepting she is of me. Everyone should have a Mom like mine.
I put a smiley on my calendar anyway, though, because the lady in the athletics centre who registered me for my dance class thought her computer was messing up when she loaded up my file and it said 'male'.
2 comments:
You are so lucky to have a mother who is supportive of you. That's just wonderful!
As you deal with things, I hope that three things are true that might be difficult when you're a young student: eat nutritious food, get enough sleep, and get some kind of exercise. Those aren't cures for anything, but without them, it's hard to deal with anything else successfully.
Food is a challenge, but not one that is insurmountable. Sleep... well hopefully with the new room I won't have to deal with fire alarms and parties on quite such a regular basis - there's hope! Exercise is the area that needs the most work, but I signed up for a dance class, and I really enjoyed swimming a few times late last semester (though you can imagine that has associated challenges). Hopefully these are challenges that this young student will overcome :D
Thanks for your concern; it means a lot to lonely me. Thanks also for your post! Now I can officially say that my blog has been read.
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